Ok I have spent every day since monday going back to the hospital. Monday I had my 2nd round of chemotherapy which has been much rougher on me than the first round for some reason. I have been very nauseaus and about as exhausted as I have ever felt in my life. I am trying really hard to stay positive but I think it just is really getting to me now. Yesterday I had to go back to the hospital for my $3000 shot to help my body to make white blood cells to fight infection. This is a whole different problem all together because knowing that my immune system is compromised I am trapped in my mom's house afraid of swine flu among other things that would or could kill me in this condition. I am losing my mind a little bit at a time its dark early I am trapped I miss my kids and I feel like hell. Today I went back to the hospital for some hydration which took another 4 hours just sitting hooked up to a machine pumping fluid into my veins. My hair is coming out all over my body now. I'm truly a mess. I don't mean to complain but if I don't get this off my chest and out onto my computer it will sit in my gut like poison. I am really going to try and stay the course and stay calm and hopefully it will get better from here until the next round.