Monday, November 9, 2009

Got through my 2nd round but not as easily as last time. First off they had to access my port that was put in with some trouble on Friday but hasn't had much time to heal. The nurse warned me that this might hurt a little and she proceeded to stick the port access needle into my it. It hurt for a moment but I think the anxiety was worse so the relief is that I can deal with this in the future if like she says the first one is the worst. As the nurse sat in front of me with the first type of chemo it reminds me of red coolaide in a syringe it just brought back memories of the first time and my anxiety started to play tricks on me. As she began the infusion within moments I felt the strange feeling in my mouth just as happened the last time. It feels like almost a numbing of my tongue and a almost metal taste in my mouth so my mom went to get me a ice pop to help with this strange feeling. It helped right away but then the nausea kicks in almost immediately I feel the worst indigestion and the nurse tells me its called anticipatory nausea and that she would give me ativan to help with the anxiety and the nausea. The thoughts running through my head are good and bad I feel as if I can get through this I am one more closer to finishing but on the other hand the infusion is only the beginning and the next week will tell how well I do with it. I am optimistic that It won't be as bad as the last one and I will feel better sooner. The sheer and utter exhaustion is started already but sleep is a gift during this time and hopefully I will sleep through these few days and bounce back like a champ. Anyway I still have mom here trying to feed me since i lost two pounds in two weeks which is not good since I am now only 112 lbs. Who would have thought I would be so worried about getting weight on my bones. My vitamin D level is also very low so I must start taking 2000 units a day of that so my bones don't deteriorate. I am also very anemic and my doctor thinks I will need a transfusion for sure very soon. This is just to let my friend and family know where I am at in this process so I am not complaining I am just informing everyone as to my life in a nutshell. Please keep the comments and prayers coming they really help in my feeling of loneliness and isolation in this first few days of treatment. I wish I could play poker to get my mind off of all of this but unfortunately I can't yet. Maybe if I don't feel to bad I will soon. Anyway I will do my best to eat and drink and stay as healthy as I can. I promise. I am relieved it is over and I can do the rest with gods mercy. Thank you my friends and family I feel you in my heart every day!


  1. oh my gosh, complain all you want. You have every right to be as mad as hell.
    Maybe you do this now, but concentrate on the future - next spring. Visualize yourself with your kids walking through a park, looking at the flowers and trees starting their new life, just as you have begun your new healthy life.
    St. Peregrine is the patron saint for cancer patients. i found this on a website about him.
    Cancer is limited ...
    It cannot cripple love,
    It cannot shatter hope,
    It cannot corrode faith,
    It cannot eat away peace,
    It cannot destroy confidence,
    It cannot shut out memories
    It cannot silence courage,
    It cannot invade the soul,
    It cannot reduce eternal life,
    It cannot quench the spirit,
    It cannot lessen the power
    of the Resurrection.
    I think and pray for you often during the day. God bless you - Lori

  2. Just a note about the 2 names. My name is Laura but my family and people who know me through my family call me Lori. Billy and Jill always called me Lori so I am using that here.