Today I spent most of my day sleeping and being sick in between, all the while my mother lurking around trying to push soup and rice and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches anything she can do to get me to eat. I am doing my best to eat and drink but it is not as easy as I thought. My trouble is now my mind is feeling trapped. I am afraid to go out with the risk of swine flu among other things and I am not really feeling well enough to go out so my mind is really having trouble not panicking. The meds only help so much and then its just me talking to myself, bargaining with G-d, Promising to do great things if he just lest me get through this and come out on the other end a survivor. I am a very competitive person and I have to view this as a big game and I know my nature will take over. I feel like I've used a few lives but I got plenty left so keep sending positive energy and prayers my way and I will get through this tedious time as a team!