I did not really think this part of my ordeal would be this hard. I am overwhelmed with fear and the continuous boosts I get from friends and family make me overcome. I am grateful which I've said before but its like a endless supply of life boats in and ocean of tidal waves so every wave comes and I feel as if there is no way another relief boat is coming and then like a miracle there it is a verbal life boat, a hug, a phone call or even just a look of faith. You have no idea how this is saving me from drowning in fear and self pity. I still need chemical help as well for physical help and emotional help but that is ok too. If ever a need for anxiety or pain medication now is the time and I thank G-d for that relief. My breasts are hurting like heck. I didn't expect the pain to still be this bad but it feels as if a hatchet has been put in the middle of my chest. Hopefully this will lessen over time. Tomorrow I get my first fill in my tissue expanders which makes me nervous as well. Hopefully it will be like getting braces tightened as a kid and will only be uncomfortable for a few days but I know that will be worth it when my new perky boobies arrive in a few months. I am going to stay strong and get through this and hopefully my thoughts and words will give people insight into this journey I am taking far from on my own but as a team. I want you to understand that what I feel I say and it helps me unbelievably so I hope it helps my friend and family and our whole team as well.