Saturday, October 10, 2009

Today I am at home for the first time since my surgery. It is both comforting and scary at the same time. I am so well taken care of by my mom at her home and I can't help but feeling the child mother bond which is incredible. I have only been a mom for almost seven years now and it is so incredibly rewarding but selfishly I am enjoying being the baby again. Now comes the guilt for not being here for my own children. I realize they have about the best father in the whole world caring for them so well in my absence but I can't help feeling the way I feel. After all I am jewish. LOL we do guilt well. Anyway I will spend time with them this weekend and try to forget about the looming reality about to hit me on Monday. I can't seem to enjoy being here as much as I thought I would but as things become clearer and action gets taken I think I will be able to enjoy these things again. I am counting the moments minute by minute until Monday and life will never be the same again for better or worse I am O.K with this. I think I am starting to accept my new reality. Life is still good and I have a lot to do so see yall later!

1 comment:

  1. Just sayin'... I think about you EVERY day! I know you have the strength to get through this and if you want to you can imagine my fat lttle head sitting on your shoulder telling you that you can do it, because in my mind I am THERE with you! Miss you very much and I'm sending lots of love your way!!!!