Wow I got through another night so I am one day closer to my ultimate goal being cancer free! It is definitely getting scarier though I am going through bouts of happiness thats its almost here and unimaginable fear that its almost here. Weird. I am trying to visualize myself holding my hands from the inside of my chest against my breast to keep the cancer out of my body and only in my breasts. They are like my little soldiers battling for territory and we will win! My head is calmer now for some reason this distraction with the media coverage of my poker blessing is a good thing in every respect. It is keeping my mind off cancer and it is getting the word out about breast cancer. I don't know why god chose me to do this (other than my big ol' mouth) but he did so I am going to take it as far as I can. If I can save one young woman from going through this fear and pain I am about to encounter It will all be worth it. Today I will have a good day today even if I don't feel like it. It's my choice and thats still under my control.