Life is hard

I realize that life is not easy and that trials that are given make us stronger but I am starting to feel really anxious and afraid now. My husband lost his job and Disability is dragging their feet on gettin out my retro check back to Dec 30th we have 8 dollars in the bank and an empty refrigerator. I can't sleep I am really scared but on the flip side I know eventually I will get my disability check and things will be a little easier but I don't know how we will get by until then I also have this pending great opportunity with pokerstars and their new tv show The Big Game which tapes in Vegas which is on my bucket list so I am really hoping they pick me to be on this new show. I know in my head the most important thing is my health but I cant stop worrying. My kids are asleep and in bed and hopefully oblivious to our stress and I hope it stays that way I cannot take one more day of red tape with government programs designed to help people like us who are struggling. Sloan Kettering chose to not release my information even though I filled out the forms for release to disability I left out one line apparantly and that was enough to delay the release of information needed to deliver a decision on my case now tomorrow I have to fill out this form again and hope they send the proper documentation to disability so they can then make a decision on my case. Sometimes I wish it was 1970 and you got to speak to people and no privacy garbage to deal with. It is a full time job to get the benefits I have paid for religiously out of my paycheck every week I have worked for 5 years. This is my money and they are holding on to it as long as they can it is unfair at the least. I am sorry for belly aching but I have been waiting and waiting for this check and every time I think its coming they tell me I left out a t or didn't dot an i. I am so sick of all of this. It is a full time job to try to get help. Well I better get some sleep so I can get on the phone again tomorrow for more paperwork and try to go to social security office tomorrow. Just pray for us that we get through this and hopefully for Tommy to find a job really soon. Fear doesn't rule my life I have to much to be thankfull for but it sure does suck.