I wanted to say to everyone who has read my blog or who just cares about me and my struggle thank you you are my gift and I appreciate you. This year will end up being a very strange year for me. On one hand its the best time in my life ever due to my poker escaapades and the attention it has drawn to my fight against breast cancer but on the other hand I have things that are so scary I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. I have never been so affraid nor so excited about my life before. I have a lot to be thankfull for this season and I don't ever want to forget that. It really doesn't matter how much time I have left although obviously I'm hoping for lots of years but what matters most is the quality of mine and my families life. This lesson is a tough one because I am constantly catching myself saying why me in my head or being jealous of my sister for being watched so closely now and wondering what if. I will do my best to put that behind me and move forward one step at a time. I hope that this faith that I have and then don't have depending on the moment learns to stick around a little longer each day and may god give me the strenght to keep fighting. Anyway this is a time for family, friends, love and laughter and that is one thing cancer can't take away so lets all make sure we laugh once a day at least, love as much as possible and spend quality time with our families the kind of time that makes memories for you and them that will live on forever. God bless my friends and family and of course Santa!