Monday, March 15, 2010
Getting closer to my new boobs but nerves kicking in
I know its been a long while since I've
posted a new blog but I have been going through some stuff that was pretty awful and caused somewhat by stress so I did not want to bring it up I was affraid. I really never felt more like I was dying than I have the last 6 weeks but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had something called conversion disorder which in short is a physical manifestation of stress. My body was shaking and jerking like I had Parkinsons diseas or cerebral palsy or epilepsy or a combination of all of this. My poor mother was by my side at the worst of it and we both thought I was a goner for sure. The doctors thought maybe the cancer went to my brain but once the tests all came back negative (thank god) they thought it was a combination of a reaction to medications I was on and stress. Once they put me on the new medications and changed them all pretty much It started to get somewhat better. Thank God I am doing much better now but I have litterally been in the hospital more than out in the last six weeks and I am glad to be at Mom's again. My outlook is different now to I cannot and will not let stress get me to that place ever again. I never knew how much the mind can do to the body. I must stay strong for my family. My hair is coming back and its so soft and I feel somewhat like a living chia-pet lol but my eyebrows and head hair are starting to come back really fast I cant wait till it really comes in enough so that I dont have to wear a wig anymore. I am hopefull that I will be able to go to a camp reunion in NYC on April 10th and especially to Buffalo for another reunion for college on April 30th. I have a lot to look forward to I just have to get stron enough to go. I am also starting to maintain some weight so I am not losing anymore and even put on a few pounds I went from 99lbs at my lowest to now about 106 so lets hope I can keep it up. My surgery for the exchange of the tissue expanders to my permanent silicone implants is on March 30th I cant wait but I am anxious about going under the knife again. I totally trust my doctor and obviously Memorial Sloan Kettering is the best hospital so I am in good hands. I will keep everybody posted so I will hopefully be blogging again now that the firestorm of heath issues is over.
Posted by Nicole Rowe at 11:24 PM