Friday, February 19, 2010

9 Days of Torture

I spent the next nine days in the hospital somewhat of a guini pig being poked and prodded and just felt like a number on a chart. I can say this this hospital is as good as it gets as far as treatment of patients and their families but I still cant get over some of the crap they
 put me through. To say the least they at least didn't almost destroy the port (this is the access port to protect my veins and is very convenient to take blood or deliver medications from me withoug having to find and access a good vein) it is surgically placed and usually stays in you for a year or so to give you the ability to get some tough cancer fighting drugs but if not used properly this port can be destroyed easily if the nurse doesn't know how to use it. Now we know that my right arm is off limits for blood draws or for blood pressures and my left arm now has the port so they give me these little pink bracelets like you get at a water park saying do not us arm and I'm now going to get the port accessed. The last hospital St. Lukes hospital which I went to last week took 3 days to find someone to access the port because they never saw one put into an arm instead of in the chest area and no one would chance it being that this port is smaller than the ones put in most people also god forbid they mess it up it means another surgeryfor me. When they finally came with a nurse who is registered to access this port he had no clue how to use this one and put the needle in backwards and then spun it around and couldn't figure out how to get blood return to show it was in place in the vein. We had used all my good veins in the bottom half of my left arm which is ok as long as its below the port to use for IV'S or drugs and saline. At this point they are panicking until they finally found this guy who swore to me he new how to access this thing and proceded to mess up my only hope was that it wasn't permanent so now he tries again with a huge needle that is usually used for chest ports and gets it in only to find again that no blood return yet and now I am panicking to. I am also ready to do it myself I have seen it done before like 50 times but after a third try he finally got blood yipee.Now here at MSKCC (sloan kettering) they have seen it all and within 10 minutes I had the correct needle in the arm with no pain and voila thats how it goes when you know what your doing. MSKCC starts immeiately changing my meds which is very difficult on moods and on mental thoughts and behavior so I became a raging lunatic  when they refused to give me my IV pain meds and I went ballistic to the point that I actually walked out of my room with my skinny flabby ass hanging out of my robe with my IV pole in one hand and said I'm leaving this place. The nurse in the other room ran out into the hallway after me I thought she would kill me she was as mean and nasty as you can believe. She said "the only way you are leaving here is if you ard discharged" So I said great discharge me "she then  said "I would love nothing more right now than to discharche you but I cant so now you get to go to a room with a 24 hour a day chaparone" so now i cant even go to the bathroom myself or pick my nose if that suits me I have a strange lady watching my every move. It was so weird every tim I would even shuffle in bed  she was like where are you going what are you doing but that was my new life for the next 7 days like it or not.Oh I amost forgot I got another pretty yellow bracelet that says risk of falling down on it. Well folks dignity gone I pretty much gave in and did pretty much what I was told until one night after speaking to three doctors from the pshycology team and the chair  doctor told me he would give me back my IV benedryl becaus I had such a bad a  bad case of thrush in my mouth I Couldn't swallow my own saliva let alone the 10 pills I would sometimes get at a time so whatever they could give me IV they would until it all healed by the way the benedryl was for the itching I got due to the dam blood thinners they kept giving me it gave me hives all over and also because I am going through menepause and I sweat so much and then get cold and my body just itches from the dry sweat.Now that night time to go to bed and I ask for my benedryl "they said you have no  orders for benedryl at all" I said not even pill form she said no also I got so crazy I made them call the doctor for my case he said no benedryl and I just couln't understand why they wouldn't give me something that would help all of us it would make me sleep so as not to keep bothering them and it would help my itching which just made me want to irritate them more so I kept pressing the call button. Well as it turns out I call 911 lol Here i am at the hospital and I call 911 to tell them that they are holding me against my will and just because I was so crazed I think I called everyone in my phone to ask them to pick me up to get out of there of course it was 2 am by now and no one said yes thank god. Next an hour goes by and I called the desk and said I want my benedryl now and the said sorry and if I call the police again they will tie me to the bed like in a psych ward. Now all this for a medication I was promised by a doctor 6 hours ago which he obviously forgot to order and funny enough If I had clothes and it wasn't freezing i could just walk down the street to a pharmacy and get over the counter. WTF does this make sense at all to anyone I sure couldn't figure it out but low and behold after calling the patient advocate she suddenly they were all so nice running in with my benedryl IV bag with big smils on there faces. Now how in the hell does a hospital like MSKCC expain this behavior I am tm the reason they get a paycheck and these nurses were mean and void of compassion I had one nurs yell at me with her finger in my face and numerous ones flat out calling me a liar. At least the next day the doctor confirmed I was not lying at all and that felt good but it was all still a struggle. The lesson here is don't mess with me or I will mess with you right back cancer or no cancer you have to be your own advocate and not let them take control of you when you know you are right.

1 comment:

  1. So sorry things have been so difficult for you. You are always in my prayers. I pray things begin to get better and easier for you. Stay strong!