The almost impossible

I have had the almost immpossible passed 3 weeks of my life.Here I thought OMG I will be finished with chemo in just a couple of days, suddenly I felt that same old feeling after staying home with my family for the weekend Nose dripping uncontrollably throat scrathchy and horse head pressure and sensitiviy to light. Here it is the week before chemo and I am all packed to go to Atlantic City for the Winter Poker Open at the Borgata and I have a nasty sinus infection again but that was not going to stop me so I brought my whole suitcase home from Mom's house just incase. So now Thursday I get my Taxol, Friday I get my neulasta shot to boost my white blood cells in my body and Saturday morning I feel a headache like I have never felt before in my life so we called 911 a second time as you remember the first time was chrismas day. They bundled me up and took me to St. Lukes hospital in Newburgh NY. I spent five miserable days there. Firstly I was going to Atlantic City with my sister and my bff and all our kids to have a great time and now they are telling me I need to be admitted. I was steaming mad and tried everything to convince them I am O.K and can leave the hospital now.well the hospital now puts me on a prison bench for a bed (not actually) a prison bed would have been more comfortable than this one. by the way they admitted me becaus my white cell count was 32000 and normal is 6000-8000. even though I explained that this was due to the neulasta shot they still didn't want to take any chances with me having an infection in my body so they gave me dilauted for the pain and heavy doses of iv antibiotics and antivirals and for some ungodly reason they gave me blood thinners in my belly sub cutainiously (just under the skin)and gave me heavy narcotics to keep me out of pain. my head hurt more than childbirth to me. Well I fell into such a deep sleep and when i woke up in the middle of the night In so much pain not just in my head but in my hip where ever since I had my car accident I have had bump like a gumball size in my flesh of my upper thigh to my hip approximately. They then gave me more narcotics to knock me out again for about 4 more hours until about 7am. The nurses came in as the usually do took my vitals took some blood and came back in about 11am and said my Hemoglobin went down to 6.7 normal is about 11 or more so they were very concerned about my bleeding inside either my brain or my body so i went for every test under the sun all the time complaining about my hip which they said if its been 6 years its probably nothing at all.Well when all the tests came back negative my designated neurologist came back into the room and I showed him my hip he realized I was probably bleeding into my hip because it was three times the size as when i got there and red hot and horribly sensitive and sore to the touch.So now they give me a blood transfusuion for the anemia 2 units of and the ct scan for my hip. It came back showing a mass that is infiltrating the tissuea around it non suspicious looking but should be removed or biopsied since its now 3 centimeters and very painful if i lay on that side. Well i did miss my poker game and thanks to newburgh st Lukes screwing up so badly in this one I am not angry its overbut its just one more fun thing I get to miss while fighting for my life. let mr tell you those dam nurses were so glad to see me leave I think I heard them dancing in the hall from the elevator. I think I should not have been released yet because the night before I got kicked out my throat was so sore and swollen I couldn't eat or drink anythg it hurt me too much I begged the nurse to let me stay one more night because I knew I was getting another bad sinus infection and I only weigh 99lbs I was affraid my body couldn't handle another infection especially after giving me IV antibiotics called the big guns (meaning the strongest ones they have) for five days and yet still getting sick. Just unbelievable that a hosspital can discharge a patient in this condition. The very next day I went to my ear nose and throat doctor to figure out what we can do for my throat which has now blown into a horriffic sinus infection and caugh. Her and my oncologists spoke on the phone and decided not to give me the levequin again I should just wait it out and see. That night i had to call her back I was really sick and it was Tuesday and the only way to get my last chemo on Thursday is if I am on antibiotics for and on the mend so she did she put me bsck on levequin. I took it at about 8:30pm and at 11:30 i notice my right hand is shaking uncontrolably i couldnt even hold a cup of water and then when my feet started to tremble i screame Mom come help me im affraid i cant stop shakin on my right side. I think she took 2 steps and was in my room faster than i finished my sentence. For some odd reason we called my oncologist in westchester instead of 911 two geniuses she basically why the hell are you calling me call 911. Althou in a much nicer way she loves me but I annoy her horriblly because I call her for every little thing. Anyway we sat in the emergency room at Good Sam Hospital for about 11 hours. Brain scans blood draws and ct scans all done that nigh which turned into that day and that was supposed to be chemo day. I was so affraid and tired I just went home and made my appointmens for my ct scan of my brain but this time with dye and at a mmsk(memorial Sloan Kettering) affiliated hospital. As mom and I are in the waiting area at the hospital at Phelps Memorial at Sleepy Hollow I start to notice my tremmors on my hand and right leg are getting worse and now the other leg is starting to shake. Now I've noted thatthe tv was on a spanish station and wante to change the channel so i got up and the tv was mounted on the ceiling so when I looked up at it i saw a million flashes of light and hurried back to my seat. Mom noticed the look on my face was fear and now they gave me forms to fill out and I couldn't write either. I was so scared at this point I got up to take my down coat off so as not to drown people in the waiting room with the sweat from my hot flash and put in on the hanger. As I got up to put my coat on the coat rack i became completely disoriented and my legs were buckling as I walked back to my seat and I said Mom please help me something is wrong with me and then my head started to shake like a bobble head doll. My entire body was trembling, jerking and my head was constant moving like Micjael J. Fox. I have never been so affraid in my like and im prety sure Moms as well it was terrifying. The nurse in the radiology room took charge immediately and brought me into another room, took my vitals and calmed me down and they got me on a stretcher and took me to the ER. They released me after stabalizing me to go straight to the main hospital in NYC Sloan Kettering and both my parents went with me. I spent the next 9 days in the hospital and I will blog the rest of the story later so stay tuned.